Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
