we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
