there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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