MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize