Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Oh god it's open bar.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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