This girl is more easily done than said...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
