I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
only if we run a train.
done.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
