I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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