Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
