Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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