hotel room ftw
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
