I need help removing her.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
