The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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