I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
