You're completely useless in the revolution.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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