Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
