Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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