I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
