found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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