idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Randomize
