Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
