so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
