Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
