so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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