sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
