it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
