She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
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