If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just want nice things and good sex
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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