It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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