i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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