so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
