Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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