If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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