If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
