just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
