I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
