I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
