Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
