under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
we're so committed to being not committed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize