if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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