Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
