oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
