Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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