Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
