I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
