You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
only you would photoshop your dick
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
