Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
