"it" just moved
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
