it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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