some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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