Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
