I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
