pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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