So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
