i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
