ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
