erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is Oprah even human
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
