"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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