The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
