So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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