i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
