What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
